Smuggler Shot.

A Boston couple went away on vacation to Canada. The husband loved to, fish, but the wife was happy reading. One morning the husband set off to fish and when he returned to their cabin, he decided to take a nap. While he slept, the wife took the boat out to enjoy the beautiful scenery. Unfamiliar

with the geography of the lake, she rowed out to the middle, dropped anchor and began reading her book.

A few minutes later, another boat pulled alongside. It was the game warden.

'Do you mind if I ask what you're doing, ma'am?'

'Reading my book,' she replied.

'Well, I'm afraid this is a restricted fishing area, and you're not allowed to be here.'

'But I'm not fishing,' she protested.

He glanced at the boat. 'But you have all this equipment. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to report you.'

'If you do,' she argued, 'I'll charge you with rape.'

'But I didn't touch you!'

'No, but you have all the equipment!'

A man and his grandson went fishing. After an hour on the riverbank, the man lit a cigarette.

'Grandpa,' asked the boy, 'can I try one of your cigarettes?'

'Can you touch your asshole with your penis?' asked the grandfather.

'No,' said the boy.

Then you're not old enough for cigarettes.'

Half an hour later, the grandfather opened a can of beer.

'Grandpa, can I try some of your beer?'

The old man looked at him. 'Can you touch your asshole with your penis?'

'No,' said the boy solemnly.

Then you're not old enough for beer.'

Ten minutes later, the boy took some cookies from his lunchbox. They look good,' said his grandfather. 'Can I have one of your cookies?'

I he boy said: 'Can you touch your asshole with your penis?'

'I sure can,' replied the old man.

Then go fuck yourself these are my cookies.

There was a long queue for the toilet on a flight from Washington to Boston.

But everything was perfectly orderly until a self-important businessman tried

to push in and created a scene that required the intervention of one of the

female flight attendants.

I'm sorry, sir,' she explained politely, 'but the queue starts back there.' 'I haven't got time to get in line,' he blustered. I've got important business

to conduct on my laptop. I'll be wasting twenty precious minutes just

standing here.' The flight attendant stood firm. 'I cannot allow you to barge your way in,

sir,' she said. 'You'll have to get in line like everyone else.' The businessman lost his temper and yelled: Fuck you!' Still smiling sweetly, the flight attendant responded: 'I'm sorry, sir, but

you'll have to stand in line for that, too!'

A Miami Beach women's group arranged a trip to a dairy farm out in the country. For most of them, having lived their entire life in the city, it was a new experience. On arrival, they were greeted by the farmer who gave them a tour of the premises before asking if there were any questions.

One blue-rinsed matron by the name of Sylvia raised her hand and asked: 'Can you tell me why the cow in this stable doesn't have any horns?'

The farmer cocked his head for a moment, before answering: 'Well, ma'am, cattle can do a heck of a lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep 'em trimmed with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple of drops of acid where their horns would grow, and that stops 'em cold. And there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse.'